


Alibi’s and Stealing Time

by sapphire_child



Category: Lost
Genre: F/M, Frottage, Kissing, Sexual Content, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-12-14
Updated: 2007-12-14
Packaged: 2019-01-17 14:30:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12367743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphire_child/pseuds/sapphire_child
Summary: It amazes her, the warmth of his skin as the blood flows underneath, the simple rhythmic beating of his heart. This reminds her a little of the first time she felt her baby’s heart beat, keeping careful time with her own. His pulse is steady like a metronome beneath her fingertips, ticking out all the seconds of his life that he wasn’t supposed to live. They’re both stealing time now – together.





	Alibi’s and Stealing Time

It’s ridiculous that he should be the one to bring out these feelings in her – she barely knows him after all. But when she asks him to sleep beside her for the first time, sharing the thin strip of bed they constructed together so long ago, she begins to imagine things (his teeth grazing along her skin, his hands holding her hips steady) and she can’t help but shiver in the balmy night air.

To any casual observer they’re sweet and shy, new, coy, carefully dancing around each other, neither willing to take the next step. None of them have seen them when they’ve been truly alone together – their exploratory kisses doing nothing more than making them even hungrier. They hold back only because of the fear of being found out, of the talk that would then ensue, the rumours and gossip.

She’s always been embarrassed by public shows of affection. It’s all very well and good for the others here – couples who have been together for years, married or otherwise. They’ve all had enough time and space to get the initial awkwardness out of the way. As for Kate and Sawyer…well they’ve both got tents with a decent amount of privacy don’t they?

 _Their_ moments are precious, few and far between, and utterly maddening. They can kiss for hours sometimes it seems, hidden up the beach or away on a jungle walk. Sometimes he’ll steal a shy glance at her afterwards as they walk, hand in hand, back through the camp, and her face will flush red. Not from embarrassment mind you – but from ardour. Having a baby does enough damage to your hormone levels without falling in love at the same time.

The first time they dare to cross the line it’s her who initiates it. They’re sitting side by side leaning against the base of a tree down the beach, heads together and watching as he absently strokes the back of her hand with curious fingertips. Without even thinking, she turns her hand over and traces her fingers up his denim clad thigh, to his hip.

When she’s there she pauses and he waits, curious to see what she’s going to do next. Turning her head so that she can look into his eyes, she curls her fingers under the waistband of his jeans and leans in toward him. She surprises even herself with the force she exerts as she crushes her lips to his in a bruising kiss.

As eager as he is, he’s still tentative at the same time – trying to stop her and giving up, trying to stop her and giving up again. Barely even thinking, she pushes herself up against him, pulling her arms around his shoulders and cradling the back of his head to bring him even closer. Their kiss is becoming messier now, hard and unyielding and her body is shaking, full to the brim with chills that have absolutely nothing to do with the weather.

They’ve never kissed like this before.

In fact, she’s not certain that she’s ever kissed _anyone_ like this before.

It takes a mere second to straddle him, not letting their lips part. She’s pleased to realise that her hips balance on his perfectly. He’s got such a small frame (you could almost call it delicate) and he feels very fragile in her arms as she takes her arms from around his neck and she then places her hands on his chest

She can feel his heart thudding behind his ribs and it amazes her how alive he is. His skin is warm as the blood flows through his veins and his heart is a simple rhythmic beating. It reminds her a little of the first time she felt her baby’s heart beat, keeping careful time with her own. His pulse is steady like a metronome beneath her fingertips, ticking out all the seconds of his life that he wasn’t supposed to live.

They’re both stealing time now – together.

He gasps quietly against her lips as she rocks against him a little – he wasn’t expecting this. Come to think of it – neither was she. But when she begins to pull at his belt he grabs her hands with surprisingly fast reflexes and stills her.

She pulls back to stare at him, rejection flooding into her eyes in the form of tears.

“Don’t you want me?” she asks, her voice cracking.

“Of course I do,” he murmurs, taking her hands and holding them tight within his own. Her sweet smell is on his skin, he can still taste her lips on his and he tries hard not to let his voice tremble when he speaks. “Sweet Christ do I ever.”

“Then why?” she finds herself whispering.

He stares at her for a moment longer and then sighs and gestures for her to sit beside him. She does, curling up under his arm feeling lost and confused.

“It’s not safe,” he murmurs eventually, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. “If I got you pregnant again…”

“You wouldn’t,” she says instantly.

“Begging your pardon love but I probably would,” he squeezes her to him and presses his face into her hair. “We will one day – I promise. Just…not in this place. Not like…like this. It shouldn’t be like this.”

“Maybe it should,” she says, insistent now. “We met here in this place, on this island. Why shouldn’t we…?”

“Because I won’t let myself do anything that might hurt you,” he shushes her, his lips at hers and she forgets to breathe for a moment. “I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you because of me. And you and I both know that becoming pregnant is dangerous on this island.”

She considers this for a moment before touching her lips to his in a conciliatory gesture. “Being noble sucks.”

He chuckles at her then. “So does being celibate. Trust me, I want to, I really truly do. But we need to be safe and we need to make sure that it’s right.”

She sighs and snuggles up closer to him but then jumps when she feels his hand on her hip.

“Christ but you’re beautiful,” he murmurs against her lips. “Do you think you can make do with a substitute for now?”

Her breath catches as she nods fervently and he wastes no time in popping the button on her jeans and then tugging the zip down. He pauses then, to kiss her softly and she deepens it, feeling slightly desperate now as his fingers push aside the folds of denim to touch her through the thin material beneath.

“Oh…” she gasps a little into his mouth as his fingers start to move in licentious circles against her. It’s been almost a year now since anyone has touched her like this (Thomas was always more for the sex than the foreplay anyway) and the fact that he’s had a lot of practice in his day makes her feel like she’s found a small piece of heaven in the middle of her own personal hell.

He kisses her reverently, then more hungrily as she begins to rock her hips a little against the pressure from his fingertips. He hums deep back in his throat as he pulls his hand away and then returns them again – this time underneath the final layer of fabric.

The heat of a blush suffuses her cheeks but instead of screwing her eyes shut tighter like she normally would, she surprises herself by opening them and then discovers to her great shock that he’s watching her avidly with eyes that all but smoulder.

She holds his gaze, gasping out loud as he moves faster, slipping one finger inside her – the odd angle and the friction making her shudder pleasurably. Seconds pass and they still can’t tear their eyes away. She feels like hers are frozen, locked with his until the moment when…

It hits her unexpectedly and she gasps out loud and tries to bury her face in his neck, to hide what she’s afraid of, what she almost feels ashamed of. But seeing her blush, sensing her shame, he puts his hands on her face, levels it to his and then kisses her softly.

“Never be afraid to look me in the eye,” he tells her quietly. His lower lip is red from where he’d been biting down on it but his voice is low and steady. “Never be ashamed.”

She nods – her eyes still downcast – and then she finally dares to look at him.

He’s smiling at her – so much tenderness and warmth in his gaze that it makes her heart ache. And in that moment she realises, she truly understands just how much he actually loves her. It makes her breath catch for a moment, the sheer clarity in his eyes, the knowledge that he would do anything, will do anything for her without any questions whatsoever. She’s never before had somebody love her the way that he does.

It scares her.

“We should head back,” she whispers, her throat dry, and the moment between them is broken by her fear. “We’ve been gone too long. People will worry.”

He nods and (is it her imagination or does he look a little disappointed?) then disentangles himself from her, stands and stretches whilst she tidies herself up.

She clasps his hand as they walk back along the beach. He whistles cheerfully enough and swings his free arm jauntily but she can almost feel the longing coming off him in waves.

She knows that his days are numbered, that every moment could be the last precious one but she simply can’t bring herself to love him. A part of her is frightened that Desmond might slip up one day and Charlie will die, leaving her behind to mourn her love alone. A part of her is frightened that even if he lives, he might one day leave her anyway. Either way she doesn’t think that she can stand to have her heart broken again.

When she goes to collect her son from his babysitter, they ask Claire where she went with Charlie.

“Just for a walk,” she says, holding Aaron tight to her. “Just up the beach and back.”

Sun smiles at her. “That would have been nice.”

“It was.”

There is a moment of tentative awkwardness between them and then Claire excuses herself. The sun is nearly down, and in the darkness that comes between twilight and dawn she might be able to steal another moment with Charlie.

Who knows? It might just be their last.


End file.
